I really wanted to keep all sorrows to myself.

and be a happy person and lvoe everyone.

demo..

yappari...

muri desu ne~

I am going to post it here. cos i'm sur eno one reads. and even if they do. they probably won't care XD

its all my fault.

because i'm stupid and stubborn.

yeah she tried so many times.

but i din respond did i.

or maybe i did. i don't kow anymore.


Life keeping secrets to urself is very painful.

u start thinkina bout so many things..

For me..

I noticed how lonely i was.

But yet i noticed how i had ppl who relaly loved me like yuuri wan and michi...

I noticed how bad a friend i was.

The worst infact.

that kinda explains why i'm aloe ne~ XD

I noticed. how much i miss my dad.

today i went for mass.

suddenly i missed him so bad.

i really wanted ot cry.

its liek the only thig that connects me and him now

are just the things he gave me. and my phone.

I noticed how he never calls me ever.

Everytime it has been me calling him .

I want back my life with my dad. in the old house.

walking the dogs together.

i'd even give up dubbing jsut to be with my dad.

i want my dad back.

he's the worst man in my life.

but i want him back.

i'm scared i'll forget him.

i don't wnat to.

everyday i stare at my phone

hoping he'd call me.

i want to do well in my exams

because i hope that someone will tellhim i did well

i want him to evne just send me an sms saying "gratz" or something.

anything.

anythin to show he hasn't forgotten me.

i miss my dad.

i seem desperate ne~

holding on to everything he has.

From the credit card thats no longer useful.

to the toy he gave me last time.

...

I also noticed.

how scared i am.

to lose my mum.

she keeps going she has cancer and all

may not have lon to live and blahblhablah

it scares me so much.

cos i realised.

in the end.

though i get pissed so much.

she is the only one i can count on foreva.

to listne to my problems.

she's probably the only one who would understand the pain

of losing mydad.

i'm sure she misses my dad too maybe more.

i don't wnat ot lose her.


I dont' want to think anymore.

i want ppl to distrat me.

sotp me from thinking.

i relaly don't want ot htink anymore.